MIKE WILLIAMS INTERVIEW IX

I interviewed Mike Williams IX via-email for UNBELIEVABLY BAD magazine. I like this exchange. Mike has a very captivating writing style-short sentences, effective descriptions and that distinct southern drawl. This is an example of an email interview that actually works.

Where to begin with a band like Eyehategod? They are perhaps one ofthe few bands left on the planet that truly live their music and lyrics. Infact, it would be almost too easy to detail the decade plus of riffs, fights, substance abuse, misanthropy, failure, despair,alcohol, alcohol, alcohol. So rather than endless babble regarding the band's importance in today's limp musical climate, we'll let this recent communication from vocalist Mike Williams IX inadvertently do it for us, ''hey man--just got outta jail AGAIN.long story,but im free--so all is good''. Case closed.

1 - NOLA seems to be a major load star in the existence of EHG. Not just the band's home, but an underlying influence on the band's sound, aesthetic (etc). Is there equal parts love and hate in your relationship with the city?

Oh of course, New Orleans has been inspirational to us in a number of ways, musically, (un)hygienically, artistically, historically,chemically…We are a product of the streets, the people, and the culture of this city's gloriously hedonistic and debauched lifestyle.On the same coin, NOLA's inept local government corruption, police manipulation and brutality, urban blight (especially after Katrina)and general apathy and malaise can infuriate someone to their boiling point, but then again, that is stimulating on its own. So as well as 'love/hate' I'd rather say 'passive/aggressive'. I like to talk to our sprawling, mentally disturbed metropolis and say stuff like; "Oh, you look great today! You finally got those rotten teeth fixed, huh? What?Oh, you got a few still giving you trouble? Well that's O.K., you still look kind of good for your age."

2 - How much did growing up in New Orleans contribute to you embracing punk and metal?

Which bands "fed the fire" so to speak and do they still hold as much weight after all these years?

I'm from a small town in North Carolina. A long line of backwoods redneck farmer types. Moving to NOLA in 1977 played a major part in my musical education. I was into Kiss, Sabbath, and Alice Cooper back then. Living in a big town definitely opened my eyes to a whole nuvva level. The early N'awlins punk scene completely tarnished me forever around '79 or so. My brother worked in a bar and would sneak me in to see bands like The Normals, Contenders, Hostages, The Cold, Men In Black, Wayward Youth, Savage Saints, Legionnaire's Disease etc… Lateron, I broke away (literally!) and ran off from home, I was eventually put into a boys home for the next 3 or so odd years. We'd sneak out in the middle of the night and walk miles to stand out side of clubs and peek in through the opened doors. During this time and later, I saw the second wave of the more Hardcore local New Orleans acts such as Red Rockers, Goners, Sluts, Shell Shock, along with tons of out-of-town acts such as Black Flag, Die Kreuzen, Misfits, Circle Jerks, Dicks, Minor Threat, Gun Club, Bad Brains, et al, I lost my mind. That was the sound I'd hear in my head when I closed my eyes. I started my 1st group around that time, called Teenage Waste, with some school buddies. I was 15 years old. Years passed and metal & punk melded and became thrash. Then local groups Exhorder, Blatant Frustration, Flagrantz, and Graveyard Rodeo set a new standard. I had a formed a new band by then, called Suffocation By Filth, taking influences from Discharge, Exodus, D.R.I, Sodom, Bathory, M.D.C. etc…Those were the fuckin days, and almost all of these bands I'm still into to this day.

3 - The band has such a distinctive sound. You cannot confuse an EHG record with any other band. Has having this degree of continuity always been an objective of the band?

Not necessarily an objective, but we're for sure NOT one of those bands where you'd use the word "eclectic" in a magazine review, I tellyou that. We sound like we sound and we've never thought much about varying it to any degree. AC/DC , Ramones, Motorhead… All these groups never much cared about variation to any certain level, they kept itreal. We ain't looking to change the world through technical masturbation, it's all the basics of rock and blues baby….

4 - Explain the writing process. Are a lot of the riffs plucked from various jams and then pieced together, or do one or two band members take care of most of the song writing?

Both. Hopefully, you can't tell when a song is pieced together, but that's how it happens sometimes. Everybody writes riffs though, not so much myself but Brian, Jimmy and Gary have all written fully constructed songs. Even Joey, our drummer, wrote some of the faster guitar tracks on Dopesick. I come in later, pass out in the practice room, and forget all the lyrics that I've written.

5 - Your lyrics are conceptually similar to perhaps some of the sleazier works of the Beat generation. Pieces of that era were based just as much in the realms of life experience as they were literary entertainment. Could the same be said for your lyrics?

I take that as a compliment of the highest degree. My reading tastes vary, but reading the Beat era stuff was probably where I realized that I could take everyday experiences, throw in some Marvel Comics references, cut 'em up, and I had writ me a poem, dammit. Obviously those nights spent soaking in Kerouac, Bukowski, Burroughs, Kesey,etc… played a subliminal part in my life and that's a good thing Ithink. Later on it was literature like Lovecraft, Vollman, Vandermeer,Sartre, Poe, and Clive Barker that would prove to be influential on mylife. But yeah, life and the sidewalk outside my windows gives me an unlimited source of material. Then as you watch everything around you crumble, the words never stop coming.

6 - I'm sure it's frequently stated, however drugs seem to have played a significant role in the world of EHG. In a band situation, when do they cease to be a source of inspiration/stimulation and just become counter-productive? Has this been a contributing factor to the on/off nature of the band? When did you begin dabbling in illegals?

I've been drinking alcohol and eating pharmaceuticals since I was 15 years old. Mostly speed tabs back then, though. Everybody has their own vices in EHG, some more illegal than others to this day, but that's life. Anyway, it really depends on the drug and the person in regards to the counter-productivity part of the question. Truth be told, it actually overlaps. Even when its non-productive, it can stillbe inspiring and stimulating, albeit in a completely negative fucked-up way. Maybe that's just me. I think that misery can bebeautiful. We've cancelled shows, tours, records, broke up, got into fights, fuck all. So what. We don't care. We're just this. This is what we are, one of a billion other groups on this planet. I know fora fact that this band would sound like we do, substance abuse or not.Black holes, string theory, worm holes, narco-terrorism, and alchemy all contribute to our sound in one way or another.

7 - The government's lax reaction to Katrina has become a serious bone of contention in world politics. What are your thoughts on the whole situation after literally being in the eye of the storm?

I could write a fucking book about how I feel on this subject, and I will one day, but for now… well, it should be a thorn in the Bush Administration's side, as it was really just jaw dropping how long it took for them to respond to the disaster, and the level of violence that occurred with the looting and subsequent house invasions,burnings, shootings, car thefts, etc.. You probably don't hear much about all that in the media, though. You could call the local emergency hotline, 911, and would get a busy signal, and believe me, I called it more than a few times. One of my main beefs with the entire fiasco is the sheer confusion and playing of the race card by certain people, civilian and government alike. Some folks are saying "it's cos they're black, that's why they didn't respond." Hmmm, I'm white, and so are a lot of people that I know that were screwed by Katrina. Why can't they see that it's a class issue, not a race issue? Poverty was why we all stayed. That and the chance to rob drugstores. But seriously kids, the other side is saying things like "All the whitepeople in NOLA got new houses and cars from the government after the storm," which is what I heard this racist redneck say the other day,and is complete Bullshit. Nobody got shit, black or white. We all gota little bit of "ass kissing" money from FEMA to placate us, shut us up, and provide them with photo ops thru media spin-doctoring. Look man, I saw scenes that looked like stuff outta the movies. Bodies floating, "hurricane zombies", people rioting, wanderers dazed and bleeding, out of their minds, people pulling poker machines and ATM cash machines behind their cars, fighting, guns (more than usual),burning cars and buildings, soldiers marching thru the street, mass hysteria, attempted rapes, and on and on and on, all happening while the cops stood by smoking cigarettes and, in some cases, joining in the madness as well. If I hadn't gone to jail in the days following August 29, I probably wouldn't be alive now.

8 - After such a tumultuous few years, it would be almost criminal for the band not to come out with it's ugliest, most misanthropic material yet. Anything in the works?

Yeah, it's gonna happen. Members have been scattered to and fro since the storm. I just did another two months in Orleans Parish Prison fora previous probation violation, our drummer is in rehab, our bassplayer is awaiting a trial date, Jimmy is doing Down, Brian is inSoilent Green, etcetera etcetera. 2008 is our 20th anniversary, so me& Bower have been talking about doing shows, recording a new LP, etc…It's all a matter of timing right now. There's a lot of other shit happening as well: Down LP in September, Arson Anthem LP in January,Soilent Green and Hawg Jaw as always working, Outlaw Order looking torecord an LP, I'm doing an art only book silk screen project, a spoken word 7 inch, plus my 2nd book is coming together. The 1st one, "CancerAs A Social Activity," is almost sold out and a few are still available from southernrootspub.com and emeticrecords.com.

9 - You play in Arson Anthem with Phil Anselmo. How has the reaction to that band been? Phil being in the band must have garnered you some serious attention by now?

A little. We've been laying low as of late, so when the LP is released, things should blow up quite a bit. Hank III will be coming down in October, so hopefully we'll be able to record some more songs.

10 - Your book has received good reviews. Have you any intention to pursue that further? Explain a typical Southern Greyhound bus journey/station to the uninitiated reader.

Hell yeah, I wanna pursue my writing career as far as I can. Like I said, I have a second book written and I just need a publisher. Also,we'll be re-printing the "Cancer …" book for Europe and Japan eventually. Publishers, get in touch at Southernnihilismfront@hotmail.com. I like to get cheap Greyhound bus tickets and just head out in the wild. I use to do it to escape people, places, things, but now the urge to just travel to nowhere in a hot, sweaty bus full of losers just appeals to me for some reason. Iguess I like the uncertainty of it all. I'm especially fond ofchecking out the older bus stations down south and out west where nothing has changed in 40 or 50 years. It's really enlightening and amazing to see this side of Americana. The people you meet, too, are a whole sidebar unto themselves. Drifters, runaways, pregnant daughters,scared sons, wishful moms, defeated dads, immigrants, thieves, god-fearers, god-lovers, god-damners, ex-cons, self proclaimed preachers, old ladies, young gentlemen, dirt dogs, Mexican nationals,highway patrolmen, drug abusers, militant cowboys, liberal rednecks,the homeless, house niggas, horse breeders, stick figures and silver-tongued devils. To hop on a Greyhound, holding your one-way ticket, a knapsack, and a pocketful of change, is to be in heaven.Reality in capsule form.

Thanks to Rhys and Unbelievably Bad for this interview.Peace through Addiction

Myspace.com/MikeDWilliams

Myspace.com/EyeHateGod
Myspace.com/OutlawOrder
Myspace.com/ArsonAnthem
SouthernNihilismFront.com

KEVIN SHARP INTERVIEW

I have written for a number of publications. Matt Reekie asked me to interview Kevin Sharp from BRUTAL TRUTH for BLUNT MAGAZINE earlier this year. I called Kev at 5:30 AM and had a good chat. What follows is the article as it appeared in BLUNT.

It was the year 1999 when a grieving longhaired public witnessed revered New York rulers BRUTAL TRUTH smoke, grind and sleep for the last time. Disappearing into the ether at what was arguably the apex of their career, it seemed an enormous door had been left open in the depths of hell.

Years dragged on, band members surfaced in new outfits THE RAVENOUS and TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION- neither could hold a bong to the power of BRUTAL TRUTH at their peak.

However it was 2004 when word circulated of a new outfit featuring members of NAPALM DEATH, MELVINS and BRUTAL TRUTH. The band of course, was VENOMOUS CONCEPT! But you already knew that.

Their debut LP ‘’Retroactive Abortion’’ was promptly released on Mike Patton’s Ipecac Records- A unlikely label for a band so straight forward in its intentions. However, as lead howler Kevin Sharp states ‘’It was sort of the point you know. I’ve known Mike for a while. I knew him back when he was in FAITH NO MORE. I’ve known him since he was a kid. It freaked some people out, but whatever?’’ Such is the almost nonchalant attitude Sharp has towards his band, the scene, and you. ‘’ That’s the only good part of getting old. You become more comfortable with who you are. We get together, we have a good time and don’t really sweat the details.’’

Blast forward four years, and VENOMOUS CONCEPT have kindly delivered a most- belated new head kicker, ‘’Poisoned Apple’’. Released on Century Media records, it’s a raucous channelling of the collective member’s hardcore origins. The riffs scream the lurching intensity of DISCHARGE, SIEGE, ANTI-CIMEX, POISON IDEA and DRI. ‘’It’s like the sort of shit we used to listen to as kids. It’s like when you go to a friend’s house and you crack open a slab of beer and what not.‘’

Taking these primary influences and pushing beyond the often limiting barriers of hardcore, these trans-thrashionals have melded ‘’extreme music’’ know-how and unrelenting energy through Shane Embury’s muscular sounding riffs, the epileptic bass runs of newest recruit Danny Lilker (BRUTAL TRUTH, NUCLEAR ASSUALT, ANTHRAX), the jackhammer pace of Danny Herrera and Mr Sharp’s completely unhinged vocal overload. The latter of which provides much of the disorientating chaos emanating from the stinking grooves of this disc. ‘’It’s something I’ve refined over the years. I think the best vocal performances are letting your voice do what it naturally does; well mine naturally sounds like a garbage disposal’’ says Sharp emphatically.

The songs appear far more aggressive and livelier than on their debut effort. A more realised version of the band. ‘’Well the objective in a certain way is to stick two fingers in your ass and whatever’’ says Sharp completely deadpan. ‘’It’s that whole RAMONES concept of capturing a sound and an attitude. It may not be perfect, but sometimes it’s the imperfections that make a record like that crazy. The whole idea was to accent the imperfections’’

Unhindered by geographic barriers, the band is spread across two continents. Amazingly, Sharp takes it in his stride. Something we’ve come to expect from the man. ‘’I’ve never really thought about it. Most of the people I’m closest too live in different parts of the world anyway. Sometimes it makes it easier financially and headache wise. 2 of them are over in England and two of us are here, so if we wanted to do shows over there or over here, it won’t cost too much to make it happen’’ says Sharp, who actually lived in Melbourne for a year after the demise of BRUATL TRUTH. This of course makes him an honorary VB sipper and should surely suggest that a saunter to Terra Nullius would have to be on the cards for the band? ‘’ I’ve got alot of friends there. It seems we’ve got alot of people that write us from down there. I love it down there. It could be worse. It’s not unlikely that you will see us at some point in your summer.’’

So it would seem the enormous door is no longer left open. In fact, it’s been slammed shut. Repeatedly. Really fucking hard.

-JAY REATARD PHONE CONVERSATION-

The folks at STAINED STRATUMS asked me to interview JAY REATARD for VOGUE magazine. I was told that i wouldn't need to write any questions beforehand. They were wrong. I didn't really have anything to say to the guy. It was about 6:00 in the morning, my phone cut out, and I had to had to get to work. This stunted conversation was heavily edited and paraphrased so it would be fit for publication in VOGUE.

r- hi jay, this is RILEY TITMANNUS FLEMMINGTON III calling from australia. I’m doing the VOGUE interview.

j- Oh hi, yeah yeah…

r- How you doing?

j- good man, just working on some recordings.

r- What are you up to?

j- I’m recording a record for this band The Barbaras right now.

r- Okay cool, your engineering…I guess.

j- yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Taking a little break here from things.

r- nice man. Nice. So you don’t get very much time to do that sort of stuff (recording other bands) anymore?

J- Umm no. Yeah, yeah it’s like I usually I don’t have much time to spend on other people’s projects, but umm, these guys kind of play as my back up band so, just making some time to help them make their record for in the red before we leave to come to Australia, so…

r- so you have a completely different back up band now?

j- Umm, no they used to be in this band called the Boston Chinks, but that band kind of split up now so they play in this band The Barbaras now which I think is a little better anyway.

r- Cool, cool cool. so how do you feel about the up coming tour?

j- I’m pretty excited. I’ve never been there so I don’t know what to expect. But I think it’ll be a good time. I dunno, I’m not looking forward to fucking flying on a plane for twenty something hours, but…

r- You don’t enjoy flying?

j- Umm, I don’t mind it, but like eight hours and fucking ready to kill somebody so… (laughter)

r- Oh well man, you’ve got some flight to look forward to there.

j- Yeah.

r- Yeah, your going to want to knock yourself out beforehand.

j- It’s a good day of flying.

r- Yeah, it’s a pretty negative experience.

j- man I don’t know if it’s going to be autumn or what?

r- Dude, it’s going to be really hot, so y’know bring some shorts.

j- Oh really, it’s going to be summertime there right?

r- It’s going to be oppressive. I don’t know what your used to, but yeah, it’ll be pretty disgusting. Nice and humid…

j- (laughter) Yeah, that sounds like memphis, like fucking umm, like maybe 105 degrees and really humid.

r- So you obviously still live in Memphis then?

j- Well when I’m home from tour I have a house here. So I come home to unwind, work on recordings and things…

r- I guess the side projects you had prior to this album doing as well as it has, are they still going? Or do you find that when your not on tour with this record, you want to unwind by not playing music at all?

j- It’s like when I get home, I have time to do nothing but concentrate on doing more solo stuff. But every band I just had to quit. So band I was playing in I felt like I was holding them back if I kept playing with them. So I quit so they could get other members. Some of the other bands I was more involved in, you know like the song writing process and everything; I just ended the band. There was just no reason to carry on, you know? (Jay can be heard coughing up phlegm).

r- Right. So is there a new album coming out soon? I know you did Terror Visions and that was a bit of a departure for you. Musically you know? What was the reasoning behind that. Or is Terror Visions a completely separate entity?

j- Yeah, it was a completely separate thing. You know, just a really shitty electronic punk band with a couple of friends that was just fun to do. I don’t know, I just kind of have this motivation to put out as much stuff as I can as fast as I can before people stop caring.

r- Yeah.

J- I’m not worried about the quality of things. I just try to put it out there you know.

r- It sounds like it’s worked so far. You know, you are highly prolific. But how do you feel about this last record (blood visions), above all the other records you’ve done, attracting the most interest?

j- well…

r- I mean do you think the lost sounds could have perhaps reached this level?

j- (jay can be heard coughing up phlegm) Well I guess I always kind of felt like I was creatively being held back by having to compromise what I wanted to do by playing with other people. So it made sense to me that I got around that problem. Now I can fully realise what I want to do and people are paying attention so….

r- Well it sounds like your onto something there. It sounds like your onto something.

j- You know I always wanted to have more pop influences in all the bands I was in, but some people I think were very uncomfortable with jumping out of whatever genre we were involved in and pop music was just not something they were interested in. So I finally felt that I could write 4 chord songs that aren’t too pretentious and I guess it kind of makes sense to people when its like that. I dunno, I guess it’s kind of hard to listen to 15 minute prog keyboard jams, so..

r- Yeah, but dare I say blood visions still has some of those influences. You know, influences from previous bands.

j- Well it’s impossible not to sound like yourself.

The phone started cutting out here. Here was the last word from jay that should make the interview somewhere.

j- You know man, I’m at home 24/7, working on music and drinking soda.

'Survive the Future'' - Extortion tour diary. January 2008.

This was supposed to appear in DISTORT flakezine 15 years ago. The editor of said publication decided that the band had ''too many clean pauses'', and ''simply not enogh feedback'' for it to fall within his spheer of interest. So here it is, complete with all spelling/punctuation erros.

Please note: ( Some attempts were made by outside forces to expurgate certain words and passages from this text. )


Wednesday night:
I walked from my office, across the Horseshoe Bridge and through that other street to get to Roman's place of work. Roman works at a shop called ''Death Metal Supermarket''. Perched on a bench, some Victoria Beckhams kept me company until Roman clocked off.

Dan came around to Roman's a bit later on, and that's when the real fun began. Noxious gasmasks, nasal push ups, Emu Bitter Dinner, sleeping pills, hard spirits and indeed, high spirits got us to Perth domestic airport in time.

As a fellow consumer and concerned citizen, I feel it is my responsibility to warn you of the ineptitude of Perth Airport and its staff. Ever since this great state of ours blossomed with weapons, brothels, drug trafficking, domestic crimes, pollution (etc), the sheer influx of people into this wretched place has increased ten fold. Rather than expanding the terminal, building new runways, hiring additional staff and constructing a larger baggage collection, they have opted to downsize the whole operation. This has resulted in absolute pandemonium during check-in, take off, landing, arrival and baggage claim. I believe a frightening new dawn is upon us. I predict dark days are ahead. My friends, I believe the lunatics have truly taken over the asylum.

The flight was a non-entity, except for a stunningly display of aeroplane slumber by Jay Grind. This mid-air maverick performed what came to be affectionately known as ''The Brown Slouch''. It was as if someone had turned old Jay off at the mains, and let him recoil to some sort of default sitting position. Picture if you will, a twenty something man, sitting with his back in a semi-upright upright position, arms by his sides like a young and eager to impress Myer customer service operative, head tilted forward, chin almost touching chest, and mouth in a prone position, as if he were a Crocodile waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting Springbok or Water Buffalo.

Thursday:
It pains me to say, but as a band, we have very little time for each other. So in an attempt to limit the possibility of others being embroiled in our inner-band tensions, each of us stayed in separate lodgings. Nothing personal, just simple logistics.

Now I don't want to sound like I'm superficial or anything, and I usually don't believe in black cats, walking under ladders, smashed mirrors and all that nonsense, but I simply refuse to play a show without getting a decent buzz on beforehand. So it goes without saying that we had a great time getting half-wankered in Welshpool, sorry Osborne Park, I mean, Marrickville. The gig was fun. Some good outfits played. CRUX in particular impressed us with their heavy guitar sound. The crowd turned themselves inside out in response to our live gig phenomena.

At the bar later on, Roman performed a clinical execution of the reverse slouch. Absolutely spot on! Afterwards, our friend and spiritual leader A-dawg got our fucking heads right into the early hours of the morning. Thanks A-train.

Friday:
I woke up in the morning with an arm wrapped around me. It was the arm of Daniel Maynard. The whole situation was made more uncomfortable by the fact that Rohan Harrison was already awake and pretending to read a book. He was clearly watching the madness that was unfolding, and it was obvious that he had been doing so for some time. Furthermore, he was liking it.

We watched cricket and smoked can bongs all day. Some would argue that this is a waste of a holiday. I beg to differ. In my opinion, this is the ultimate realisation of leisure and relaxation. To do what you would normally do on any given day, in a different state, for free...well that speaks for itself.

The show was great. All the bands were good. EXTORTION has a good following in Sydney. Some wild characters turned up when we played. A cripple managed to find his way up onto the stage. Now in a perfect world, these people would not be allowed into events of this nature, nor would they be allowed in the public eye full stop. But alas, we are living in a post- 1945 world, and there are certain concessions one has to make in order to keep up appearances. Not Rohan Harrison though. He proceeded to strangle and repeatedly strike this wheelchair bound individual until he quailed in fear and subsequently wheeled himself off the stage. Chris Onton did not catch the gentleman as he was at the I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN show that night, and didn't want to get his shoes dirty.

We lumbered on until the wee hours with Reek of Purification, the fabulous Elissa, and some others. We got a comprehension of a different dimension with some strong rail slides. It be the will of Jah that we went straight from Newtown to the Airport early that morning. We yelled ''Rasta Far I'' when we saw the beckoning lights of Sydney Airport's finest eatery, Crics Affamés.

Saturday:
We arrived in Melbourne and were greeted by James Vinciguerra. James was wearing a fantastic ''Canterbury, Canterbury, CANTERBURY!'' rugby jumper. He looked like a cross between Where Is Wally, Andrew Ettinghausen and James Vinciguerra. He drove us to town in 1.1 seconds, and thoroughly enjoyed our banter, double entendre and witticisms along the way. We got to Dan Stewart's house. Dan Maynard found some silly plants in his pocket that he thought he had given to a homeless man in Sydney a few hours prior. Dan let out his patented, quaint little laugh, and the collective giggles resumed.

We got to the show which was at a community hall in a park. Now I usually don't go to community halls. I find the whole idea of a community in itself quite stifling and compartmentalising. Community equals conformity to this wandering soul. Conformity is another mechanism that the powers that be use to keep us sedate. Conformity is death. Death is life. And so the cycle perpetuates itself like the birth cycle of an African Hyena.

I came in to see STRAIGHT JACKET NATION tearing it up, and tearing it off (the singer's shirt). Now, I know being the singer of a band is a flagrant display of shake appeal and machismo, but did the singer of SJN really feel the need to take off his shirt and show us his MADBALL, BIOHAZARD and other traditional tattoos? THE KILL followed. They were absolutely great! Jaw dropping guitar and drum etiquette. Yobbo grind! The best Australian band in recent memory!

During the EXTORTION set, a fight broke out between a guy dressed in a police uniform and another guy in Navaho Indian garb. I was so engrossed by the dance floor justice that was transpiring between these two aspiring pugilists, that I made an absolute hack of the outro. But as the great Fred Astaire once said, ''The higher you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered to be your style.'' Right said Fred.

Trial and Error records paid for our ride to the Arthouse for our early sound check. Triple J's short fast loud radio show had some nice cold cuts and light refreshments waiting for us when we got there. JB HIFI hired some ex-Foreign Legion and Hell's Angels toughs to control the masses of fans that had already converged outside the venue. Other fans were said to be in the process of paving a path of destruction in the surrounding areas. Common Bond Records hired some local session musicians to sound check to our specifications sheet so we didn't have to do it ourselves. We spent most of our time in the plush backstage area sitting on rare furs; strumming vintage Gretsch guitars and drinking our collective body weight in the finest French champagne. We could have made a complaint at the time about the lack of Crispy Creme doughnuts on the rider, but we'll leave the complaining to the Brisbane hardcore scene, as we clearly make far too much money off our tours, records, practices, transport costs, flights, merchandise, phone calls and through virtue of living thousands of kilometres away to worry about something as trivial as sweets.

The show was tense. People got turned away at the door. It was far too packed. Folk were hopping the roofs of adjacent buildings to get in. AOA had the sound of the night. The CRO-MAGS cover was a little uncharacteristic for these big softies, but their bespectacled lead singer Grunt held it down by showing his muscles and intimidating the audience both on and off stage. SJN were great again. 731 had a great bass sound- They play grinding grind.. JAWS fumbled through a raucous final fling. MINDSNARE sounded heavy, but were too hard to watch given the claustrophobic environment. Dean went into overdrive for the EXTORTION set. Jay was drunk. The show ended and we went our separate ways.

Some would argue that writing a tour diary for four gigs is a little audacious. Some would even argue that four gigs is not actually a real tour. Both of which are probably true.

Commendation:
James, Elissa, Brendan Oath, Kim your own dog, Chris Onton, Anna, Eamon, Billy, Benny, Clint, Emillie, Lloyd, Mattalwaysgreenalwaysobscene, Black Metal Nick, Ester, Nigel, Dan Stewart, Dan Maynard, Anne, Alex, Meatdog, all Perth people present, Maison, A-train, Matt Reekie, Neil Cuthbertson, Missing Link Records staff, Straight Jacket Nation, Adrian 731, Jay Kill, Crux, Gordon, AVO, Thrush, Jungle Fever and all other equipment trustees, the wonderful young lady at the Old Fire Station Café in Preston and many other folk.