Part of my fuckern job is to coordinate web content for a clothing brand. I wont tell you which one, cos I don't fuckern need to. It's not important. What is important, is that when my writers don't submit nothin', I have to pick up their slack and fill in the blanks. Shit, it don't really matter as the guys canned this shit anyway!!!! Luckily for me (the only person that reads this blodge), I got heaps more of these to post. Keep your eyes peeled!I got other wickedness that will be fuck good.
WINTER SOLSTICE BONFIRE
Get in touch with your medieval roots this weekend at the Collingwood Children's Farm Winter Solstice.
That's right, astronomy comes to Collingwood this saturday. Now, you may argue that the nice folks in Collingwood are already well versed in astronomy. You see, about this time every year, they fall to their knees, they look to the sky and they pray to god, just hoping that they can win that ever elusive premiership, sometime soon. These prayers inevitably go unanswered. And while celebrating the distance of the earth's axial tilt from the sun wont make up for a lack of silverware in the trophy cabinet, surely its proof that there's a higher power out there?
Now, I don't expect many Collingwood magpies supporters to turn up to the Children's Farm this weekend. This is primarily due to the fact that these days, Collingwood is populated by 18-26 year old students and slightly left of centre young professionals who believe football is a barbaric pursuit for base-minded rabble who lack the tertiary qualifications to pull themselves from the quagmire of their own banal existence.
But I digress...
The Winter Solstice at Collingwood Children's farm is all about having a real good time in front of a gigantic fire. Hey, even if you don't know nothing about the weather and think Cumulonimbus Cloud was the name of this really sick Belgian House DJ what you seen one time, there's a bar, dudes playing drums, a bar, fire twirlers, a bar and a bar to keep you occupied.
Oh, and before you ask, NO, you ARE NOT allowed to sacrifice any of the animals to the gods! I cant stress how important that is! You'll lower the tone and the property prices. After all, the is bourgeois Collingwood. Entry: $16 family,
$8 adult, $4 Children
Farm Pass holders at concession rates if pre-purchased.